ugg boots size 5 Festival of beautiful boots
Let us first all agree, without fear of being labelled awful knuckle dragging sexist porkers, that it doesn’t matter whether you’re talking about a pair of billiard table legs or gangly chicken sticks, there’s nary a woman alive who doesn’t look better in a fine pair of boots.
Oh don’t deny it ladies! Why spend all that money if it’s not so?
Black, brown, white, leather, felt, plastic, Cuban heeled, spiked, knee high, thigh high, pixie like ankle boots (okay, not them). but apart from them it’s all good.
And of course for your dedicated boot aficionado, this time of year is. well. what can I say that won’t be misconstrued?
And yet. and yet this year the festival of the boot has been ruined, yes ruined my little Instruments, by an insidious interloper; the pretend boot, which is to say, the noxious practice of wearing black, knee length socks with kitten heels to create the impression of a boot from a distance, which soon resolves itself into calumny and betrayal and bitter disappointment upon closer inspection.
Two questions? Why would anybody do this?
And why is the effect so profound anyway?
Why is an aesthetic consequence, which is so strikingly positive at a remove, suddenly rendered not just neutral but actively negative at closer quarters? For I’m sure you’ll agree, both male and female, boot connoisseur or not, the appearance of the sock and heel ensemble is a travesty, made all the more upsetting by having misled one into a false assumption in the first place.
Not professing nor pretending any expertise in this area I throw myself on the mercy of my readership, especially the fashion conscious female readership which I am sure is voluminous, to seek an answer to this mystery.
And perhaps an answer to the question of how this wretched practice might be stamped out.
The Deep South of Enzed must be a few fashion fad generations behind Brisvegas (apparently we’re still cast adrift in the hideous ’80s flashback era with big stupid shirts covered in big stupid writing like FRANKIE SAYS BE ORIGINAL) so yet to come across the knee sock/heel combo yet among our heinously trendite student population, still seeing predominantly the superannuated glorified gentified ugg boot with anatomically endangering skinny jeans tucked thereinto and this in a town allegedly considered the alternative fashion capital of the Shakies, with seemingly more young/emergent fashion designers per unit volume than even Orkland. Then again it is colder than a nun’s Fisher and Paykel chest freezer over here, knee length socks and dainty bootlets ain’t gonna cut it. Hence the other compulsory acquisition of the Otago uni fashionista, aside the boot of ugg and the jeans of skinnydom: the black Kathmandu puffer jacket. More ubiquitous than snaggle toothed bogans at the Ipswich 400.
Grubby Chuck Taylors, jeans and a Mr Grumpy T shirt, since you asked. My nomination for Fashionista Of The Year apparently got lost in the mail daahhling.
I agree, the Knee high FMB’s are among my favourites. I heard a theory that the heel toe syncopated beat of high heels does something to men. Something deep visceral and not particularly family friendly. Well, in retrospect family making friendly. Usually 16 hole lace ups, occasionally slab toed bike boots and on special occasions my cuban heeled embroided cowboy boots.
However I suspect 6ft+ 100kgs of bearded wierdy is not the silky sexy dom siren you are talking about.
Saw a stunning Asian girl in Town Hall Station last week, wearing stiletto heeled knee boots, skin tight latex or leather trousers and a tight leather jacket.
The crowds of WYD pilgrims walking past looked at her in two ways.
The first group obviously saw her as an agent of the devil, temptation made flesh, purpose sent to tempt them into sin.
The smaller group obviously were wondering how many of the 10 commandments they could break with her, and how many Hail Mary’s they would have to say afterwards (but it would be so worth it).
Boots help draw you in, you follow them up the leg, now at the tops of the boot you get Pandora’s box, Figuratively speaking of course. Double OMFG, Imagine suspenders. WOOOOOW or perhaps DENIM Jeansahhhh yeeeess.Personally wether they be leather, velvet or imitation vinyl WHO CARES. Boots give you that BAD GIRL hint and like all architectural covering draw you up from ground level to the rest of the structure.
As a self confessed shoe aholic, my boot collection is threatening to swamp my casual shoe collection. I need another wardrobe . okay room. I’m not kidding. I dont know about the other ladies out there but I lurv the look of a hi heeled boot mid calf or higher. It looks sexy to me, and it makes me feel sexy to boot 😉 Winter is a fantastic time for more boots and my heels keep getting higher.
My one complaint is women who cant cope with the height of their heel, forcing them to walk like ducks, bent kneed, bent forward and heels scraping on the pavement that’s not sexy in anyone’s book I dare say.
As for your original complaint, Mr Blunt, I would rather not be seen dead in socks and kitten heeled mules ugh! Especially when I have variations of wedge or spike heel, rounded toe or pointy, 3/4 length or over the knee, leather or suede, tasseled or not (spanish ones 🙂 to choose between.
And in response to McKinney and AbeF, is it that below knee socks take the school girl thing into dangerous waters, while over the knee socks lead the observer into dangerous waters of their own? What do you think?
Booots, mmmm! With those skirts that are cut so that they swirl flick as she walks. My Beloved Wife has many pairs of boots (wonder why?) Calf clinging suede, shiny, stitched, zipped, buckled and (esp) laced. Sometimes she only just makes it out the door vs being rather late for work. Sometimes. I don’t know why they affect us males so strongly heaven knows I am NOT kinky. (Erotic = using a feather, kinky = the whole chicken).
On the other hand (and the topic) I agree that the faked with socks effect seems to have started with Japanese schoolgirls and spread to “Clueless” types of occidentals. Probably prejudiced to say that they generally are clueless P Hilton clones, but consider it said. Maybe that’s what makes them such a turn off?
Who cares? I think it’s time The Woman I went boot shopping again. Incidentally, for those without a cold shower nearby try picturing Havoc in his undoubtedly gray, sagging and holey underdaks.
Despite the cringeworthy Lolita esque effect, socks with heels were huge in NQ in the mid ’80’s. Thank you Kylie Minogue. NOT. It just didn’t work unless you were 18 and had lucky legs and a ra ra skirt.