triplet bailey button uggs Public servants will lurve Ipswich
Ah, that’s because you don’t read the business press my ignorant and soon to be displaced friend. If you did, you’d know that the Property Council of Australia has been lobbying the gummint and specifically the new deputy premiersaurus, the Minister for Potholes, Congestion and Tumbledown Bridges, ol’ Puddin’head Lucas, to round up thousands of sleepy, slow moving public servants, currently clogging the CBD and, well. get rid of them. Move them on. Put them somewhere else.
The Property Council likes this idea because large, carnivorous private enterprises could then rush in to the fill gaping ecological niche in the recently deserted office space, paying higher rents, wearing snappier clothes and generally lifting the tone of the city and fattening the wallets of its members.
The Puddin’head likes the idea because when he stares from his high office window in the morning it occurs to him that half of his congested, potholed roads and tumbledown bridges are not nearly as congested as they could be. To wit, those leading out of the city hardly seem used at all, lending their potholes and crumbly bits a neglected, mournful appearance that does nothin’ to lift the spirits of a Puddin’head as he sips at his morning Milo and thoughtfully ponders the wherefores and the what to do’s of such a perplexin’ situation.
“You drive in in the morning and you will see very few people going back the other way,” he told the Fin Review recently, when you weren’t watching. “That’s a waste.”
And a Puddin’head does not like waste, oh no he does not, for what is the use of building so many potholes if they are just to be used by some of the people half of the time when it is in the very nature of a hard workin’ hole to be open for business all of the time?
Of course, the Beattmaster, when he was still around, very quietly said nothin’ about moving y’all out to Ipswich, but seeing as how as all the land in the other direction is filled up with bogans from Logan, and seeing as how the centre of poor old Ippy is just sitting empty, with nothing to do now that the council’s moved everyone over the river don’t ask, it’s an Ipswich thing well, you couldn’t really blame a Puddin’head for pondering on the amazin’ juxtaposition of such things could you? Especially not now that a Puddin’head is that much closer to Supreme Executive Power and thus able to do something about it.
So, as somebody who grew up there, and just loved it, really, loved it to death, my heartiest congratulations to you all. Don’t forget to drop into the Ulster Hotel and say hello to everyone for me. (They don’t do food there but you’re free to pick up a chicken and chips from the Red Rooster next door). And if you do hang around after work to cut some laps,
make sure you drive up Limestone Street and down Brisbane. It doesn’t work the other way, no matter what the Puddin’head might tell you about the mysteries of counter flow traffic.
And don’t worry if you feel a bit out of place at first.
We’ve got something in the water up there, and you’ll grow some new toes in no time.
The historic role of the Brisbane CBD as the hub for government and industry causes both traffic congestion and supply and demand issues for Brisbane housing that contributes to the affordability crisis.
Given modern telecommunications, we should move more of our government functions to other locations. By creating employment in these areas, workers can buy more affordable housing and live closer to work, improving traffic congestion elsewhere.
And once the government and the workers are there, industries and businesses that service them will follow, creating more employment.
It makes a lot of sense to look at our smaller towns as places to relocate Brisbane CBD govt offices. However, it has to be done slowly as existing Brisbane based government workers will naturally be unhappy if their jobs are suddenly relocated to Maryborough or wherever.
As for moving US out to Ipswich, really what’s funny about that? I have a mate in Treasury who would be thrilled, cause he just bought a house there. They moved out all the public servants in Adeliade and it did wonders for the CBD.
Moving to Ipswich isn’t a bad idea. Some bits of government are already moving out of the CBD but haven’t really thought it through. They move to odd places like Highgate Hill or the like, thinking it’s great. It is for the CEO and SESs, becasue they get to drive to work and have a free carpark.
Ofcourse for this type of thing to work we would need major changes to public transport becasue we work on the HUB system here in the SEQ. And Buses are local council things so getting from the bay to Ipswich would be a 3hr trek. Actually the more I think about it the more I’m sure the Public Sectore Union will quash it.
I’m sure most public servants would, like myself, love to get out of Brisbane JB. Although the Sunshine Coast would be better.
The move across the river was a good thing by the way because the festering dead heart is that way because of one man. but I probably can’t say anymore. I was thinking about writing a book about that but was told (by you) that I’d probably get my arse sued off! So I dropped it
We have a ruley truly state of the art shopping complex complete now and its great! (as long as we can stop it sliding into the river!)
The Ippy you knew and loved as a kid has pretty much gone JB and oh! Big rooster has closed down!
The blueprints for the prison. er. residential complex are already there, just dress the barbed wire up with ye olde fashioned sandstone and add a few pools, and Bob’s your rehabilitated uncle.
I mean, they gotta build trains and all the infrastructure out there anyway, and if it’s good enough for our prison folk, it oughta be good enough for the civil servants.
I mean, they’re already used to a regimented life void of initiative, stripped to the gears of the government clock.
Civil servants for Gatton I say!
Oh yeah, the old round ’em up and ship ’em out policy. This is most favoured by the pollies whenever a major department has its rent review coming up. Of course in times past the guvment owned office buildings. But they were sold off to ‘retire’ debt. Hence govmints no longer owe money. Yep.
Down here in Siddey both the feds and state owned a big slab of what is now prime CBD real estate. And of course neither will ever be in debt again.
The major thing about doing a huge public servant muster is what gets found when they leave their old feed lots. There’s original mint condition No Smoking signs from when it became banned in the workplace, swear jars full of old copper coins, 20 year old Far Side calendars, the footy tipping chart from 1989 and what used to be a piece of birthday cake back in the Nineties. And some pretty toxic coffee mugs. It will all get auctioned off. For collectors of office bric a brac its something not to miss. For the rest of us I recommend those NATO anti everything combat suits. And a flamethrower just in case any of the critters miss the round up.
I remember about 10 years back when you would go down the mall on dole cheque Thursdays and see all the 15 yr old mums with their three snotty nosed kids complete with the druggy bofriend dressed in white singies and boardys and the manditory goaty, no shoes of course!
These days its full of all the middle class scum (including me) that have bought out west where the land is cheap and the cattle are nervous.