ugg boots clearance sale Summer Fashion Don’ts for Lads and Ladies
Wifebeaters Best case scenario: you have pecs the size of watermelons and flexing your abs dissolves ladies’ underwear within 50 feet. You’ll still look like a self centered douche from Jersey Shore. At least stick a friggin’ button down shirt over that. Nothing fancy, just something to cover up the tribal tat around your bicep.
Shorts with tube socks This is even worse than socks with sandals. Nothing makes us lose our lunch faster than a dude with his chicken legs sticking out of a pair of awkwardly short shorts, girded to the mid calf with white tube socks. We suppose if you’re going for that “still live in your parents’ basement” look that’s all the rage amongst many IT professionals, go for it. We’ll just be over here getting some. Stylish alternative: footy socks.
Ridiculously short skirts Nothing makes us feel ashamed for the wearer as much as the bandaid around your butt miniskirt. Double that if it’s made out of denim. in six inch spike heels, looking for a safe place to puke. We just want to round you all up in a paddywagon and ship you off to fashion boot camp. Lesson one: if bending over causes your undies and/or lady bits to show, it’s wayyy too short. Get something sexy and just a squinch more modest instead.
Yoga pants when you’re not exercising Look, you’re not fooling anyone wearing athletic clothes to the grocery store while simultaneously loading up your cart with Haagen Dazs and Coke. And sure, your ass probably looks pretty good in that stretch fabric at least better than it does in Daisy Dukes. But those panty lines? Not hot. Get some classy shorts or capris instead.
Uggs We kid you not, people wear these during the summer. They’re not content to flay our eyes during the long winter months,
in which myriad fake baked teenagers prance around with skinny jeans tucked into their foot potatoes. No, people actually have the audacity to wear these with shorts SHORTS, for the love of all that is holy. We can’t even manage the presence of mind to be snarky. Just don’t wear Uggs. Not during winter, and certainly not during the summer. If you are going to Alaska to train sled dogs, Uggs away. But otherwise, flip flops, people!
Tube tops Please note: this fashion tip does not apply if you’re Megan Fox. We’re guessing she doesn’t read City Pages, though,
so everyone else listen up: nothing converts a nice bustline into sausage boobs faster than a tube top. Elastic at the top and elastic at the bottom means everything in between looks like a shapeless mound somewhere in the middle. It’s just not attractive. Replace your tube tops with nice tank tops.